Hole in my heart
by GeeGeeCullen16
Summary: Edward never came back. Bella got changed duh . They meet again...
1. Throbbing

**A/N:**** Hey guys! New story! ENJOY and REVIEW!**

**BPOV**

It's now fifty years after he left me. The hole in my heart hasn't ceased throbbing. My heart doesn't beat anymore, not since Victoria changed me. Soon after I was changed, I was taken in by two lovely people. Pennie and Josh. They're a married couple who are also vegetarian vampires. "Bella, sweetie. We're going to be moving," Pennie said entering my room.

"Ok. Where?" I asked.

"This small little town called Forks," she said. I froze, completely and utterly shocked. My eyes went wide and so did Pennies as she took in my expression. "What is it, Bella?" she asked.

"Forks is where.. He left me," I whispered. I still couldn't say his name.

"Oh, I understand, Bella. But it's really the only place we can go."

"It's ok. He's not there anymore," I said. She smiled and left me to think. Charlie died ten years ago, his house was now being lived in by a small family. I wondered who lived in the .. Cullens' old house. I couldn't bear to say even his last name, because then the hole in my dead heart would throb so badly I sometimes collapse to the floor. "Come on, Bella. Get packing, we're leaving tomorrow morning!" Josh said peeping his head through the door and then leaving.

**EPOV**

We were moving back to Forks. I couldn't bear it but we have to. Forks reminded me _so_ much of my beautiful Bella. My heart was gone, it'd been dead for over a hundred years but this time it was not there. There was nothing beneath the skin of the left side of my chest. It was hollow and empty. We were to leave the next morning and share a house with another family. Carlisle said they were also vegetarian vampires. Since they had nowhere to go, Carlisle invited them to stay with us in our old home. "Edward, quit sulking and get packing!" Alice said appearing at my door. She was happy and I don't know why. Bella was her best friend.

**APOV**

Oh I can't wait to get to Forks! I had the _best_ vision _ever_! The family that was going to live with us is Bella's new vampire family! Oh yey! I can't wait to see Edwards face once he see's her again. He'll be happy again, after all these years. There was only one thing that could stop the happiness. If Bella rejected him, then he'd feel even worse. I just hope that she'll let us explain, I just hope that she won't reject us.

**-The Next Morning-**

**BPOV**

Josh was driving through a familiar forest and on a familiar route. We were in Forks and the hole in my heart was aching horribly. I closed my eyes to try and block everything out hopefully including the pain. The car stopped and I opened my eyes to the very familiar _Cullen house_. "Bella, we're going to be sharing this home with another vegetarian family," he said. I just hope it wasn't the Cullens or the pain would be unbearable. Josh could sense feelings like Jasper but I had my shield up so he couldn't sense what I was feeling. I didn't want them to blame themselves for putting me through pain by taking me back here. There was another car in the driveway, the other family was already here. It was a big jeep, it was quite familiar but I didn't recognize it completely. It might have been a human memory perhaps? I stepped through the big glass doors and a familiar bubbly voice greeted me..

**A/N:**** Haha, I'm evil! I left you on a **_**huge**_** cliffy! I promise these chapters will get longer but I wanted to end on a cliffy! I promise to update soon! x**


	2. His girlfriend

**A/N:**** I did promise to update quickly! And I felt bad for leaving you guys on such a huge cliffy! LOL x ENJOY! & REVIEW!**

**Coz reviews are ace!**

**BPOV**

I turned to face an extremely recognizable pixie looking girl. "BELLA!" she squealed. She ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug I've ever received from her. I didn't know if I was angry or if I was happy. If Alice was here, that meant.. _he_ was here. "Bella, I've missed you so much! I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm sorry, please, please forgive me!" Alice sobbed into my shoulder. I couldn't stay mad at Alice, I knew it wasn't her fault. I still loved her dearly and she was actually sobbing now. Although she couldn't cry, I felt so sorry for her. "I've missed you so much aswell. Alice, I forgive you. It's not your fault," I said patting her back.

"Thank you so much, Bella!" she said. She stopped sobbing and took a step back to look at me. "You are gorgeous!" she said.

"Thank you, so are you!" I squealed.

"BELLA!" A big voice boomed. Emmett sprinted across the room and pulled me up into a big bear hug. I didn't need to breathe but I still choked. "Sorry," he apologised putting me down. "Nice to see you again, Emmett," I smiled.

"Bella, I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you. I'm so sorry," Rosalie apologised coming over to hug me.

"No big, Rose. It's ok, I understand," I said.

"No more hatrid. I've really missed you, Bella. Can we be friends?" she asked.

"Of course, best friends even."

"I'd like that," she smiled.

"Dearest Bella, Can you find it in your heart to forgive us?" Esme asked hugging me. Wow, I've never received so many hugs before.

"Of course, Esme. I understand that you left because you cared about me," I smiled. She kissed my cheek and then Carlisle hugged me.

"May I say, you make a gorgeous vampire," he complimented.

"Thank you, Carlisle. It's nice to see you again," I smiled. Jasper came over to me and surprised me by giving me a hug. We were never that close really.

"Nice to see you, Jazz."

"You too, Bella. We've missed you," he said. I beamed at all of them. I noticed one was missing, but then I spotted a head of bronze hair behind all of them. I decided to ignore him for the mean time. If he didn't want to see me then I didn't want to see him. But my heart ached to feel his touch again, I know I still love him so much. I just can't get over him. "I'll go and unpack," I said turning around to walk away.

"Bella, wait!" my favorite velvet voice called. I felt his hand on mine and I collapsed on the ground sobbing.

"Bella!" Josh and Pennie said. I felt two pairs of hands slowly lift me up.

"Are you ok?" Josh asked.

"Yes," I managed to say through sobs.

"I think we should leave them alone. Josh, Pennie?" Carlisle said. They exited leaving me and Edward alone. I sat on a chair so that I wouldn't collapse again. I was still sobbing, Edward was looking at me. His eyes were filled with misery and hurt. "Bella.." he began.

"Please, don't talk to me," I sobbed and I began to ran but his protective arms wrapped themselves around my waist and I sobbed even harder. "Bella, please try to understand. I love you," he whispered.

"NO YOU DON'T!" I screamed. "HOW _DARE_ YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME AFTER _EVERYTHING_ YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH!" I screamed.

"Bella. I'm so sorry," he started to sob. I couldn't bear it anymore. I turned around and wrapped my own arms around him and kissed his lips. After we broke apart, he had stopped sobbing but I continued to. "Don't cry, please. I love you, I promise," he swore.

"I need time," I said.

"I understand," he said. "Do you love me?"

"What!? How could you even ask that?" I said.

"Do you love me?" he repeated.

"Of _course_, I do. I always will, but I just don't _trust_ you anymore," I told him.

"I love you, Bella. I _always_ will. I left to protect you from myself, I wanted you to live a _normal_ life. Without all this supernatural business. I wanted you to be a normal person. If you kept being with me, I was scared that at one point, I'd be too late to save you," he whispered. I believed him because of the sorrow and regret etched onto his face. The amount of sadness in his eyes was too much to be fake. Edward was a very good liar, but even he couldn't lie this well. "I believe you. I love you so much," I whispered placing another kiss on his cheek. And then I snuggled up to his chest.

"I love you more, Bella. So much more," he mumbled into my hair. I was too tired to argue, I just wanted to be with him all the time. I didn't know we had company until a big applause filled the room. I turned around to find everybody lined up against the wall. I stopped sobbing and managed to smile. But it wasn't a fake smile, I was really happy. I had found him again, I'd finally found him. "Aw, you didn't reject him!" Alice squealed.

"I think there's a bit of a complication here though," Rosalie said.

"What?" I asked. I looked at Edward who was looking nervous.

"_Edward_ has a girlfriend," she spat the last word.

"_WHAT!?"_ my voice was only a whisper.

"I was trying to distract myself, Bella, I don't love her," he said holding my hand. I visciously tore my hand from his.

"Where is she?" I said through gritted teeth.

"She's outside hunting," Carlisle said.

"I hope your happy, Edward. Thanks for lifting me up and tearing me down _again_," I spat. I stormed upstairs to a room that I now claimed as mine. I sighed when I noticed it was Edwards old room. I didn't care as long as he wasn't near me. There was a knock on my door. "If that's Edward, you better leave before I start saying bad things," I threatened.

"It's Rose."

"Come in," I said. She came in and sat next to me on the floor.

"He doesn't love her, Bella," she said.

"Did he send you up here, Rose?" I asked her.

"No, I told them I was going to my old room," she said.

"It doesn't matter, he shouldn't have _used_ a girl just to _distract himself_."

"I know that it's wrong. He's going to end it. I think. She's really a jerk, everybody hates her. Including Edward," Rose told me.

"Yeah?" I asked softening up.

"Yes, just give him a chance?"

"Fine. I suppose I could," I smiled. We hugged and then left the room. As I stood at the top of the stairs the rage built up inside me again. Edward and his _girlfriend_ were _kissing._ "OH _YEUK_!" I screamed.

"Excuse me?" the girl vampire said.

"If you're going to make out atleast do it somewhere more private," I spat.

"_Who are you_?" she said glaring at me.

"Isabella Swan. The one and only," I smirked.

"Pleasure to meet you," she said but her eyes were small slits.

"Wish I could say the same," I said back. Rose laughed next to me.

"Hey, Rose! Why're you with _her_?" the girl said.

"Because, Lola, she's my best friend," Rose said. I faced her and smiled. So the girls name was Lola.

"Aren't _I_ your best friend too?" Lola said smiling at Rose.

"Pft, who said _that_?" Rose snorted.

"Shame, _Lola_," I smirked.

"Eddie-Kins that nasty girl is being mean to me," she said snuggling up to Edward. He sighed and patted her back.

"Stop being mean to Lola, Bella," he said. He mouthed a 'sorry' at me but I ignored it.

"Erm. I don't think so, I'll do what I want and when I want," I said strutting back to the room with Rose right beside me.

"God, I hate her," I sighed.

"We all do," Rose said. "Bella, we need Edward to see sense. We've got to make him jealous."

"Hmm.. I guess that could work. Great idea, Rose," I smiled. Alice danced in then.

"Guys, why're you leaving me out!?" she whined.

"I'm sorry, Alice. Here, you can be part of our plan to make Edward jealous," I said to her.

"I would, Bella. But Jasper wants to go to Mexico today. We'll be gone for a week. I'll text you!" Alice squealed. "Bye, Bella. Hope your plan goes well. Bye, Rose!" I gave Alice a hug and she left.

"First things first, let's get you a new outfit for today. I have the perfect one!" Rose said.

"Cool." We walked to her room where Emmett had already unpacked the stuff. "Hello, ladies. I've unpacked the stuff. I'm going to go wrestle Jazz before he leaves!" Emmett said and walked out. Rosalie pulled out a dress from the closet and gave it to me. It was small, red and _perfect_. I slipped it on and walked downstairs. Edward's eyes bulged as he saw me. Rose had curled my hair and tied it up in a side-bun with a few stray strands framing my face. "Bella, you look beautiful," Josh said walking in.

"Oh, Bella! You look _gorgeous_," Pennie said following him. "Carlisle and Esme have invited us to China for the week! Mind if we go?"

"Corz not, have fun!" I said giving each of them a hug. I also gave Carlisle and Esme a hug after they complimented me. Then the adults left. It was only Me, Rose, Edward and his _girlfriend. _I completely _loathed_ her. "Baby, I'm going to go shopping for furniture for our new room," Lola announced. She kissed him and left while glowering at me. "Bella, you look _beautiful_," he smiled.

"Thanks," I said.

"Bella, look-"

"Save it for someone who cares," I spat and then ran back up to my new room at vampire speed. I sobbed on my pillow hating myself for being so horrid to him.

**A/N:**** Poor Bella, well, review people!!! :]] x**


	3. Confusion & Getting Along

**A/N:**** Hey, guys! Please keep reviewing and enjoy this next chapter! X**

**BPOV**

I couldn't bear the pain that throbbed in my dead and broken heart. Only a minute ago I was so confident, I felt beautiful when his eyes bulged when he looked at me. I felt that he'd end it with her there and then. But he didn't, he _kissed_ her without a word. He said that he loved me. He was such a brilliant liar. "Bella?" Speak of the devil.

"What do you _want_?"

"I want to explain everything," he said. I felt pressure on the bed and looked up from my cushion to find him sitting on the sofa. Some of the Cullen furniture had stayed here along with the memories. I stopped sobbing and sat up. "I don't want to hear it," I said sourly.

"Bella, please?" he asked. I looked into his pleading eyes but I wouldn't fall for it.

"No. If you think that I'm going to sit here and listen to something that'll hurt me, then you've got another thing coming."

"Will it hurt you if I tell you that I love you?"

"_YES!_ Edward, will you _stop_ telling me all of this _junk_!?" I yelled.

"It's not junk," he protested.

"Oh yeah!? Then what is it, Edward?"

"It's the _truth_."

"Oh puh-lease! _Give me a break_!" I snorted.

"I'm sorry that you feel this way," he said looking down. "But, I love you. And you can't change the way I feel about you, Bella. I love you _so much_."

"Edward, _stop telling me you love me. _Stop _lying to me_," My voice was just a barely above a whisper.

"I am _not_ lying to you. Isabella Marie Swan, you are my _entire_ life and _I love you with all my heart_."

"If I was your entire life, you wouldn't have _her_," I spat.

"I don't love her. I love _you_," he said.

"Edward, stop it! You're hurting me!" I sobbed. The hole threatened to explode inside me. He reached out to me but I ran to other side of the room at vampire speed, out of his reach. I couldn't take it anymore. I collapsed to the floor, my sobs echoed through the house and if I could cry, I would. Edward ran to me immediately and picked me up in his strong arms. I saw Rose run in and stare at us gob smacked. "I-I c-c-can .. St-st-stand," I said through my sobs. His eyes were _agonized_ but he put me down anyway. Rose ran to me and supported me incase I fell. "Edward, I think you should leave," Rose said. Pain and grief was etched onto his face. He nodded and walked away and I swear I heard him sob. "I love you, Bella," he whispered before exiting the room.

"Bella, shush. Calm down," Rose whispered. I sobbed for another couple of minutes before I stopped. "He's going to end it, Bella. I promise you," Rose swore. I just nodded because at the moment I couldn't speak. Everytime I opened my mouth, nothing would come out. My voice was on mute and so was my brain. I couldn't think clearly and everything was _so confusing_. I heard voices downstairs so Rose and I stood at the top of the stairs silently inspecting the scene in front of us. "I don't _love _you, Lola. I never have!" Edward said.

"Yes, you do! You _do_ love me! You know that you love me! Why are you denying it?" she asked.

"I've _always_ loved Bella. I _always_ will! You were just a distraction, I am sorry but I've _never_ loved you," he explained.

"You _will_ pay for this, Edward Cullen. You _will_ want me back," Lola spat before leaving the house. Edward sighed and then looked at me. His face was filled with pain again. I don't know how I felt. I just looked at him too. He nodded at me briefly and then went to the living room. I didn't speak for the rest of the night. I sat in the corner of my room in a little ball. My arms were wrapped around my knees which were pressed against my chest. I looked out of the big window which made up my wall. The stars were beautiful tonight. Rose agreed to leave me some thinking time while she spent some time with Emmett. I heard my favorite song beginning downstairs. I loved it too much that I had to go downstairs and listen to it. Edward was playing my lullaby on his beautiful piano. His eyes were closed as his fingers flew past the keys creating the most beautiful song I've ever heard. I stepped forward to sit next to him on the bench. His eyes flew open and he stopped playing. "I'm sorry if I shocked you," I mumbled.

"No, it's ok. Was the song uncomfortable for you to listen to?" he asked.

"No, it was beautiful," I smiled. He was always looking out for me, always putting me before anybody else. Especially himself. "I miss it so much."

"Well then, I'll play it again for you," he smiled and started to play it again. My eyes closed and my head leant against his shoulder. I felt my lips pulling up at the corners. After the lullaby was finished, my eyes fluttered open to find Edwards lips just inches from mine. I closed the space between us and kissed him for the shortest second but the best second of the day. "I'm sorry," he apologised.

"I liked it," I smiled. He sighed in relief and I giggled.

"I'm going back up to my room," I said getting up.

"Ok, goodnight," he smiled.

"Goodnight." I smiled at him and went back up to my room. We were starting to get along again.

**A/N:**** Yey! They're getting along after all of that confusion! LOL. Please review! x**


	4. The man I love

**A/N: I _love_ writing this story! Please keep reviewing! X**

**BPOV**

I sat in the same corner again and looked out at the stars. The house was placed on top of a kind of hill, below the hill was a beautiful lake. I got out of Rose's dress and placed it on the arm of the sofa. I put on a white tank top and somes shorts. I pulled on a black cardigan before heading out for the lake. There was a brown bench just in front of the lake, it was so close that you could put your feet in the water. I went to sit on it and kicked my shoes off to the side. I let the water lap over my feet while closing my eyes and taking deep unnecessary breaths. "Bella?" a velvet voice asked. My eyes flew open and I turned my head to see Edward making his way towards me. "What're you doing here?" he asked.

"I came here to think, how about you?"

"I also came here to think. My whole existence has always been problematic. I haven't really had time or space to really think. I've never really been able to breathe," he said joining me on the bench. He kept his feet under the bench so they wouldn't get wet.

"What did you come here to think about?" he asked.

"That question is absolutely unnecessary when the answer is completely evident."

"Yes, it was pretty ridiculous," he agreed. It was about three am. The night was so long.

"I presume you're thinking about the same thing," I said.

"You're correct."

"I'm extremely perplexed."

"I think we all are. Especially you and I, because this whole problem is based on us. I know that you don't trust people effortlessly," he said looking at me. I continued to look at the beautiful lake.

"You're right, I don't. At this precise moment, I have extreme trouble trusting you," I told him.

"I know. If this question is too uncomfortable for you to answer, I'll understand if you don't. I know I've asked you this before, but I was hoping your answer hasn't changed. Do you still love me?" he asked anxiously.

"Yes, I do," I replied simply. He breathed out a sigh of relief. He's been doing that a lot lately. A delicate breeze brushed my face and it felt very pleasing.

"You mean so much to me, Bella. I'm sorry if this is uncomfortable for you but I need to tell you this," he said. I nodded at him to proceed. "Ever since I fell inlove with you, you have been my only reason for living. The very best part of my entire existence, absolutely nobody on the earth could compare to you. You were the only thing on my mind, you still are. I love you, Isabella Swan."

"As I love you, Edward Cullen," I smiled. His breathtaking smile appeared on his face and his lips brushed mine delicately. We sat so our arms were touching now. I rested my head on his shoulder and he wrapped one arm around my shoulder. "Thank you for being reasonable," he mumbled into my hair.

"Everybody deserves a second chance. How could I not give one to the love of my entire existence?" I smiled.

"Nobody has every loved anyone as much as I love you."

"Hm.. I don't know. I can think of somebody."

"I doubt it," he smiled. I just laughed. I didn't want to argue anymore, I've had enough of that for one day. I just sighed and inhaled his perfect sweet scent. He hummed my lullaby as he used to, but this time I could really listen because I wouldn't fall asleep. After my lullaby was over, Edward and I went back to the house hand in hand. He agreed to take it a bit slow so that both of us wouldn't get hurt. We loved each other _so_ much but after everything, its best we take it slow. "Oh my goodness, Bella! I've been looking _everywhere_ for you! Where on earth have you been?" Rosalie asked when I came through the door.

"By the lake."

"Oh," she said and then she looked at Edwards hand in mine "Oooh. Who's back together?" she sang.

"Shut _up_!" I smiled.

"I'm going back to Emmett now, bye!" she said and skipped off. I smiled as I watched her skip off happily. I think Edward and I getting back together would get rid of all the tension in the house now. "Come on, Bella. I want to show you something," Edward said leading me into the living room. He went to the music player and hit play. Clair de lune started to play and he turned around to face me again. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Dancing with you," he answered placing one hand on my waist and raising the hand which held my hand. I put one arm around his neck and started to dance. "You're better than you used to be," he pointed out.

"I am not the klutz of a human you used to know."

"You were the clutsy, beautiful, special human I used to know and love," he said kissing me softly. "And now, you're the graceful, beautiful vampire I still know and love."

"I love you," I said putting both hands around his neck now. He put both hands on my hips now.

"I love you too," he smiled. It felt so good to say and hear those three words again. After fifty years of pain and misery. It felt good to be in his arms again. The song ended and we stopped dancing but we still held our positions. "You are beautiful," he whispered as he delicately brushed my cheek with his hand.

"Thank you," I smiled. His hands travelled to my lips and he stroked them gently. His lips replaced his hands soon. After the kiss, we went back to the piano bench and he played my lullaby again. He was always putting my happiness before anybody elses. I loved the fact that I was the only thing that mattered to him, it felt good to be felt about that way. I hummed along to my beautiful lullaby composed by the most beautiful man in the history of the world. Composed by the man I love..

**A/N: Yeey! Keep reviewing people!! Xx**


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